Today,
it was an anniversary of Sanjay’s profession. He had been in this business
since last three years. He was exceedingly unhappy and, thus, he decided to obscure
the day with a bunch of beer cans. Thinking to visit the costliest area in town,
preferably Marine Lines, and to earn as much cash as possible, he started being
ready. Taking out Blue colored clothes off the wardrobe, since Blue was his
favorite color, he started finding matching accessories. He was very fond of
his beard, but he had to shave it every day. By putting a mirror in his pocket,
he was all set. He locked his house, which was far away from vicinity, and he
left.
As
he was walking till station, which was around 25 minutes of remoteness from his
house, he started thinking on how he commenced working. Sanjay was not from
Mumbai but from a countryside which was around 8 hours away from Mumbai. He was
17 when his parents attempted suicide and his sister ran away with a vagabond.
He had no other option than trusting his maternal uncle, Bhaskar, and coming to
Mumbai along with him to find out an employment. Sanjay did hunt a living but
nobody entertained him because of his skinny body and a fragile look. People could
not believe that Sanjay could do a work wherein basic labors are involved.
After spending 1-2 months on Railway Station, Bhaskar decided to put Sanjay in
this business. Sanjay did deny initially but could not resist much, as Bhaskar
was very coarse and Sanjay could not afford to mess up with him. Initially Bhaskar
used to keep a watch on him but later he understood that Sanjay was not that
heroic to run away from his uncle. As Sanjay started earning, they both shifted
to a room in a Chawl which was nearby
to the Borivali station. In a very petite duration, due to some reason, which
only Bhaskar and Sanjay could know, they both moved to a small house, which was
far away from locality. By dancing in weddings, festivals and by everyday going
around shops he could then earn a good capital.
Whilst
he was thinking of his depressed living and was extremely mislaid into it, he saw
Asha walking on the other side of the footpath. Asha was his strongest and the
only crush. When Bhaskar put Sanjay into this business, they both used to stay
in a neighborhood of Asha’s family, in a chawl.
Sanjay wanted to very much look at her. He wanted to know if her brown eyes are
still that easy-to-read, if her skin is still that glowing, if she still had
long and thick hair, if her smile is still that dazzling and if her pink lips
are still that desirable. However, his profession and her, forthcoming, expected
reactions made him to miserably look down and stroll away from there. He was
more than disheartened. It was more or less after a year, he had seen her again.
The sulk of his helplessness started eating his mind and brain. He was already
in the thoughts of his depressed living and Asha’s thoughts made him weaker and
made him to repine. He did take the train to Marine Lines as he decided earlier;
however instead of going to any shop or malls or merchants, he preferred to go
to sea shore.
He
took a seat and started serenely monitoring tides. A list of heartbreaking things
started appearing into his mind. His hatred towards his profession, the
discomfort he had to carry everyday from the time he left home till the time he
come back, a life lesson of not trusting even blood relations, his strong
affinity towards Asha, a firm resolution of knowing her and, last but most
important, the dishonesty he was carrying in his heart for past 3 years. He was
not true to himself. He was not revealing his identity to anybody apart from
Bhaskar. He was betraying the whole world. And unknowingly he was betraying
himself by acting as Sanjana in the
outside world. He had nothing but a fortune of regret and a hell lot of sadness
suppressed in his heart. The burden of the same was then further than his
limits. He unknowingly started weeping and screaming loudly with his face
towards the sky. After a considerable time, he started feeling tranquil. He had
realized that he did need a change, a change of revealing the truth, a change
of honesty, a change of comfort and a change of love.
He
sat there for a long time as if he was gravely contemplating on something, as
if he had decided something and as if he was determinant about something. He
then gradually removed his ear-rings, his bangles and his bindi. After sometime when darkness arose, it all started flowing
on the water along with his saree. He
gave away all his fakes and cover ups. Though he was poor, he decided to be
an honest, true, casual and pure person. He decided to be brave, not to be
scared of anybody and to be able to earn his living by being original. The
change he made in himself was because an honest answer he gave to himself, for
a question – ‘Am I Original?’
